Don't speak. Let me in.

(It hurts-}
{2003-06-04} {1:18 a.m.}

It hurts when I remove people from my lists of contacts. I have to keep this all private now because she will say it was her and her point is proven once again. I am so far from being a self-centered person... but just in case she didn't know it; everyone craves for attention. It's a known fact of life. I'm so tired of games- and isn't that what this is?

A game being played on each others emotions to only prove a point of who's terms are right, and who's are wrong? Should I cry, or should I walk away? Should I be grateful that I lost all of our convos and that I meant something to her for just a short while? Whatever the reasons are I hope they are sorted out soon enough. I'm tired of hurting and I'm tired of hurting others as well. *sighs* Guess I should chalk this up as another person on my list of drama attacks.

I'm going to go and close my eyes now and wish this all away and hope it's better in time and maybe I will forget what has taken place, and then again maybe not.

*Reaching out for some kind of embrace*

Jette told me we all have our faults. Some people just like to point out others to forget about their own. And then I confided in her as to if I should remove her form list of contacts and she said yes- and then I asked her why it hurt so much and she said this: "Because it hurts to have someone you care about think about you that way. But objectively, if she doesn't want to talk to you, you should just not talk to her. It will only cause bad feelings. yAnd you should give her space for a while, and talk to her once it's all blown over"

And then she sent me a *hug* and said it'll be okay babe. I'm glad she's here right now- she's helping to lessen the blow of the pain.

As I was talking to Jette I skipped back over to Prowling Leo's profile and found this written about me "She is my support, my comic relief when I need it the most. She's so much more than she realizes." and it made me cry. I soo did not want to cry. Now I feel like the shittiest person on Earth.

*Hugs myself*

preventry nextentry