Don't speak. Let me in.

(The courtroom drama-}
{2003-05-16} {12:03 p.m.}

The girls stayed out in the hall with their dad, while I went into the courtroom and sat along the back wall.

I could see how the jury stand was faced directly across from me in the room, and the judges’ bench was centered off to the right of the room, facing the defendants’ and prosecutors’ tables. I was glad we didn’t have a grand jury trial; and just a bench trial. For those of you who do not know what a bench trial is, that is where a defendant waives his rights to a grand jury, and asks to only have a trial in the presence of a judge.

About 10 minutes after everyone was seated they brought “him” in.
He sat down at the table with his attorney and shouted “I’m ready for the worst! Yep, yep” and started laughing. Instant rage shot through my veins, as I sat there and clinched my fingers around the arm of my seat, scraping my fingernails into the wood. Breathing vehemently, I tried to hide the tears that were welling up in my eyes; I looked down at the floor and let a heavy sigh. The fear was beginning to build up in me again, and I just couldn’t stand to be in the same room with the man, let alone his wife. How the fuck could she be there to support him?! After everything she knew he did to my children, she was still there supporting him telling people I was out to get them. Ha, as if.

Then the judge emerged from his chambers and sat at the bench and called out our case:
The State of Illinois vs. Forest Alan Park; in the case of Sexual Predator Endangerment to a child, and Child Pornography.

I felt my body shaking and tried not to let it show, placing hands between my knees, clamping them together so that they wouldn’t move. I looked over at Lori and she could see the tears welling up in my eyes I suppose because she offered me a tissue.
She placed her hand on my lap and just patted me my knee and looked at me with an understanding look and just nodded her head at me, with no words spoken between us.

After the judge read out the charges he asked Forest if he wanted to plea guilty to all charges, and his response was "Well sir, it all depends on what kind of deal I can get” And the judge said “I don’ think that there is any chance of that, especially with your past background” and I thought to myself, “What past background?” And then it happened... the judge began reading off old charges on sexual molestation against other children. I thought I was strong. Why in the hell didn’t I see that he was this kind of person? Why?

The tears began to fall down past my face as I heard the words that were spoken of the things he had done to his own children. His own children!! I asked my attorney if I could wait in the witness room, and he escorted me out of the courtroom. He walked me back to the room, and placed his arm around me and said “We’ve got him, hon. Don’t worry. He is never going to get out again” And with that I sat back down in the witness room, waiting for my name to be called again.

I don’t know how much time passed as I waited to be called to testify about the photos. To me it felt like forever.
Soon enough an officer came and got me and asked me to go back into the room, and much to my relief Forest wasn’t in there. I was at some kind of peace because the witness stand was across from his table. I was asked to state my full name for the record and my age and where I lived. It felt like I was a scene from a movie. I did what was asked and then I was asked to be seated. I was asked when and how long ago I met Forest and his wife, and when they began baby-sitting for us.

I answered some questions pretty easily, and I thought to myself I may be alright. But, then Mr. Mangerie pulled out these huge blown up photos of Heather and Jamie. He proceeded to ask me if I know who the children were in the photos and I said yes, and said that they were my children. My eyes were beginning to fill with tears just at the thought of all of the other people in the room seeing these photos and damning Forest and his Jenny to hell and back, for putting me and my family through so much pain.

I was asked to point out who was who and how old they were in each photo, and what address we were living; at that time of their age. I tried to remain strong on the outside even tho I know everyone could see how weak I was inside. I didn’t want to look at those photos ever again for as long as I lived. I will forever be scarred. The cuts they have left leaving open wounds in my heart, will take me forever to repair.

I was so grateful that the girls didn’t have to be in the courtroom to see the photos. That much left a sigh of relief in my heart, because I know that if Heather saw them she would be damaged for life.

After questioning I was asked to step down and to take my seat again. So, I did what was asked of me. And awaited what came next. It seemed like the room was so silent you could hear the clock ticking on the wall. After a few more minutes Officer Schwartz entered the courtroom and took the stand. In his hand he had Heather dress a pair of her shoes and panties. I closed my eyes and began shouting inside of my head “I don’t wanna know, I don’t wanna know!”

Officer Schwartz began to give a detailed description o the events that took place and how he was able to have those items he had in his possession. And he told of how he had a search warrant and how and where he found the belongings of Heathers. Obviously Forest had this secret place in his house where he liked to take Heather to do his dirty deeds upon her frail fragile little body, taking photos and whatever else. I don’t even want to imagine. It’s just gross and sadistic!

After Officer Schwartz was done, they brought the assfucker back into the room, and made him sit there while my Attorney read a transcript of Heather’s testimony out loud.

You could hear me and Lois crying and you can’t even imagine the shanty looks I got from Jenny and Alicia. Fucking bitch! I’m allowed to cry God Dammit! They are my kids! He raped them of all of their innocence. He deserves to be tortured, and sent into a burning fire of hell. I won’t be happy until he is completely out of this town. And his bitch ass wife too.

I can’t remember anything else after this point in time, this is where I was told I passed out from it all and was taken back into the witness room. All, I remember was waking up with my head on the conference table as our attorney walked back in and told us everything was over.
We were told that we all have to write a Victims Impact statement so that they can be read to the judge on the day of his sentencing. Exactly 34 days from now.
I’m not looking forward to that either.

So with a little bit of help from my friends, and I know who everyone of you are, I know that I will be bale to move on after the next month.
And now I really do have to lay down because I have a major headache from writing about all of this… if you have any comments please feel free to email me. And, if you have anything horrid to say, just keep your comments to yourself. Please…because if you do leave me a nasty message, this is a warning that I won’t be nice. I already went off on someone else today on yahoo…

preventry nextentry