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diaryland
(Daylight hours-}
{2003-05-29} {12:02 a.m.}
Well, I guess I will start from when Lois came and picked me up about 10 am or so- just after I said good bye to Melody.
She comes inside and asked me if I was ready. And I was like “Umm ready for what? Hell? Already there babe” And she laughed and helped me take my television and computer to her car.
And we drove off to start my newest beginning here at her home. We had a really long conversation about her and Bens set of rules here- they suck, actually. I have no say-so in anything…still. Meh.
And then we discussed the things I have to do here- bitch. I have to pay her cable bill [so I can have my internet] and her rent. What a bitch. She still relies on others to support her. By the time I get done paying her shit I will have very little to save up. This is a sucky beginning already. I’m thinking that I will go and try and get myself a job. The sooner I get out of here the better. I hope these 4 months fly by. I’m going to hate it here… a lot.
She’s already got a week’s list of things to do on what I call her shit-list; she calls it a honey do list. Well, I’m sorry you old cow of a bitch, I’m not your honey. Get Ben to do it. Seems like he’s done a very splendid job of kissing her ass for the past 5 months- her ass is all rosé and lavender colored. Get me near it and I will put my foot in it *haha* I crack myself up, sometimes.
Hmm... What else happened today? Umm we all had a good little bitch session… even though I didn’t have much of a say-so in any of it. Bitches.
They are horrible to the kids. It hurts me to have to just sit back and listen as their words cut them and make them all sad- and I can’t do a damn thing about it. Lois did her usual wonderful stuff to make me feel like shit today. She told me that if Ben didn’t take the girls that they would have ended up in Moline, Peoria or Iowa. All of which are an hour away. She said that my caseworker thinks I am the worst creation God ever made and that I don’t deserve to be a mother. I was like holy shit! Why do you have to tell me this shit? You just love to put me down. You tell me I can live here and then bring me down in less than 24 hours... isn’t she just the biznitch? She is pure evil born of demon spawn, one of which who gets a great thrill out of hurting me. Well, it worked for about 10 minutes and then I told her to shut the hell up and move onto a different topic. She didn’t of course- so I let everything she said roll off of my back like water. She needs help; seriously. She loved to besmirch me a long time ago as well, and I guess she just sees this as another opportunity to do it again. Well, I refuse to let her. I’m too good for this behavior. And she’s 57 for Christ’s sake. As she was dealing me her usual load of crap my mind kept lingering back to the “you need a life” shit that I have been hearing for the past week. And I thought those people should be saying those things to her. She’s such a manipulative person. Some day she will pull herself into her own web of deceit and no one will be there to rescue her. And I would love to be there to bask in all of its glory.
Yes I know- I am evil.
But hey what can you do? It’s pay back time bitch, and I’m going to be first in line- so open wide baby. Here’s your first spoonful of shit for the day.
*ha*
I’m such a sneaky little dil-hole.
So yeah, I made it through day 1 … grasping onto my heart to make it through the next. Wish me luck, or not. Wish me to hell if you like. It doesn’t matter much- I’m already here.
Everything is pretty funny and I'm just passing through.....