Don't speak. Let me in.

(I will kiss every scar-}
{2003-05-13} {12:25 p.m.}

Well, hmm where do I begin about my day at the jail? Was it too extreme? No, it wasn’t. Was it hard on me? Not as much as I thought it would be. Thanks to all of the people I have been talking to before I went, I handled myself better than I realized. I basically slept the whole time while I was there.
The only time I had a problem was when I had to pee. And I couldn’t because there were these two huge pane windows where the men across the hall in the other holding cells could see in. So, I calmly asked the other female that was in my holding block to page an officer. This is how my chance of being able to pee in privacy went:

Officer: May I help you?
Girl: Could you have someone come close the trap on this door so this lady in here can go potty?
Officer: Well, just don’t worry about those two window panels. No one can see you.
Girl: But you can see in. There’s a guy that’s looking in at us from across the hall.
Officer: Well, damn. What’s the urgency here?
Girl: She wants privacy so she can pee!
Officer: One moment, please
And then another officer comes over to door and slams the trap door shut and proceeds to bitch about me.
He was saying that I was PMS’ing and whatever, and I got pissed off. I am entitled to my privacy I thought.
And then the officer comes to the holding cell door and says to me: I suppose you want us to kill the fucking lights for you too? And I didn’t respond. Because I thought he was being an asshole.
And he walked off bitching and complaining about how I would send in a complaint if he didn’t cater to me. I was like whatever asshole. I totally won’t commit myself to pissing in your metal contaminated toilet now.

So, there I sat of course squirming uncontrollably on the cement block, which I had been laying on all night.
Finally after about an hour going by, I couldn’t contain myself any longer. So I decided to strike up a conversation with this other female that was in there with me. Amazingly her name was Chrissy too. And we sat there talking about why we were where we were... oOoOo that’s bad a double narrative...Meh, oh well... On with the story…

So, yes this Chrissy and that Chrissy hit it off pretty well, and as long as we talked I kept my mind off of my insane bladder shouting at me saying “Must pee!! Must pee!!” all the while I was telling my brain to control my bladder by saying “Not now! Not now!!” And, so every time I squirmed in my seat I was trying to avoid eye contact with that insane metal toilet that was now beginning to become an obscenest speck in the corner of my eye. So then after a while of fighting with my damn spleen I was just about to give in to the urge of using that obscene looking piece of metal.
So Chrissy says to this Chrissy. “Hey, Chrissy. Talk.” And I said to her “Nuh huh I can’t.” And she asked me why and I said, “Because I really have to pee now” And she said to me with an amazing amount of laughter, roaring at the top of her lungs so all of the male officers could hear her “Hell, if it was me, I would squat right here in front of the door and piss right here on the floor!” And, all of the people in hall in other holding cells erupted into a timely fashion of laughter, causing an obscene amount of chaos. Officer Moron comes over to my cell block and says to Chrissy 1 and Chrissy 2 “I hope you are proud of yourselves” And Chrissy 1 says “We are. Now just turn around and face your back to the door and stand there until she pees.” And the officer says “What the fuck? She hasn’t gone yet?!” And he proceeded to rant some more about me being stupid after I requested for someone to help in the first place, because I wanted to piss in private.

So, needless to say I didn’t pee until I got home at 12:30 in the morning.
And, I practically power walked my ass home, and ran upstairs when I got here, leaving Lynelle wondering why I was home so soon.

As for the entry name –
Well that is because I lost my girls today, too. It’s a huge mess. And after today I don’t know when I will be able to update another entry. So this is my short farewell to everyone that has dedicated themselves to reading my diary, poetry, and everything else. Thank you for all being my friends and continually being there for when I needed a shoulder. I will never forget the people that were there to help me heal and kiss away my scars.
I must do what is best now, and leave diaryland for a short while, until I can get myself back together. I will however be online on AIM, MSN, and Yahoo. And for the people that I talk to on ICQ I will be on there as well.

Steadily but slowly I will do whatever it takes to keep my life on track.
And, I will slowly kiss every scar.

preventry nextentry