Don't speak. Let me in.

(Misery-}
{2003-04-03} {3:44 p.m.}

Well, I went to court today and god dammit! If things couldn't be any worse in my life, shit there just adds to it. Like I don't already have enough stress [and drama] to deal with. My bitch ass caseworker was there and just lit into me and gave me shit the whole time. Telling me "You're bad at this, and bad at that" fucking routine. And, just as I was getting ready to go off on her my Lawyer comes out of the court room to give me the wonderful news that the "bastard" didn't take the plea; and everything goes to a trial on May the 15th. And, then my nosey bitch of a case-what-ever decided to stick her nose in my business again! Just up and invited herself in the conference between me and MY Lawyer. Fucking cunny! My daughters and I have to go BACK to court TOMORROW at 2 pm to go over pretrial questions and everything else. And, then I had to request papers for the girls to be dismissed from school. He typed it up and left the room for a bit. At which time, my case working bitch decided to ask me "What's going on? You look like you're about to cry. I knew you didn't want this to go this far...." And, then I broke down and cried. I am so tired...tired of the shit, the lies, drama, life, MY LIFE, social services, just...everything. I wish I could die. Really. It would save me from so much torture right now. But, then again I don't want to leave my children without a mother. So, I try to be strong.

But, underneath it all I am as weak as a fall leaf falling from a tree. I could seriously be crushed in one swift movement.

I walked out of my attorneys office crying so hard, I didn't even want the comfort of that bitch. I hate her soo much for ruining the rest of my life. First it was the ass fuck who rotted my childrens' innocence with his perved mind, and then her for fucking up what I had left of a life. It just sucks shit... all of it.

Then I called the power company to see if they would give me an extension on my due date, and oh god damn that woman was as rude as fuck. She said to me "I talk to people like you all day" And I was like what the fuck is THAT supposed to mean? And she said "Well, we just don't give extensions to people like you." And, I got pissed off and called her a fucking cunt. I hope she heard me too.[I thought people were supposed to be professional with their jobs] Where on Earth do they find these inconsiderate assholes?

Now, in reference to Dinglebob... I will miss you hon, alot. I wish things didn't have to come to and end like this. I just found you, as well as a lot of other people on Diaryland. But, needless to say I am unworthy of the praise that you send me. It makes me feel like.. I dunno. Crap, I guess would be a good word. It fits me and my life, and all of the other drama going on in my life. I'm ready to go cry myself a river now.

Hopefully, my neighbor down the street will let me update from time to time. If not, I will just have to keep a written journal of everything, and when my power does get turned back on, I will spend endless hours doing updates. Updates of endless drama... I can't wait to go and see Synthia. I need a break! I need a hug, love and everything else. [I sure as shit can't get any here]

-Sighs-

preventry nextentry