Don't speak. Let me in.

(Carnal Innocence}
{2003-09-10} {5:46 p.m.}

I'm not trying to criticize the things I don't understand. Give my girl a kiss, take a deep breath, say a prayer and tell her what she means to me. Maybe your words will be heavier on her heart than mine, I'm giving in to my heartache and tears..

Why do I feel like your right beside me, wishing you could reach out and touch me, pull me closer until we melt and blend as one, but still slip right through each others fingers? Put a lock on my heart so I don't "feel" so much, ok?

These emotions are eating me alive- everything I ever felt- practically everything I've never felt for another. Not so strong, so deep - falling into the middle of the night, falling in love, moving in slow motion... I don't know how to control myself- or better yet- do I want to? The answer is simple enough - I don't want to control what makes me feel good and alive. But even when I'm moving at full speed, the emotions rising and falling so much burns and then the tears fall. Not out of sadness - but longing, wanting, and needing.

Everytime I close my eyes I see only you- and the hours linger through out the night- driving me- forcing me to find my pinnacle of release. Its so unfair sharing such a private moment alone like this, without you beside me- the only way I get to look inside of you is in your picture, words, or my dreams. Why does this love hurt, but cradle me the way it does. And then I feel the soft breathe of air blow across my skin, and with all of my heart I'm sure you're coming back again.

Whenever you're in the heart of me- I lose myself beyond all reasoning - embracing you, bringing you closer to my skin as I feel you reaching in feeding my hunger.. you are the heart of my soul.. but.. how can 2 people try so hard to embrace, and still miss each others' arms.. look at each other and miss the lingering glance in their eyes? I have so many questions.. I just dont know where to start or end..

While the air in the room
Softened in the moonlight
You took my heart and soul
In a hunger, a need
That I never wanted to forget
The touch of your fingers
As they slid across my skin
Delighted and tingled
Until I was lost in you
Locking my hands in your dark curls
Brushing lips upon lips
Absorbed skin to skin
We fit together, wanting
Needing
Like love in the drunken heavens
We danced on the air
Under a carnal innocence
Hot ice, sacred sins
Daring to dream
Finding the dream, holding private secrets
Naked in the rising tides, born in fire
Until we released ourselves
In the rapture
Of our honest illusions

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