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(A game of Scrabble?-}
{2003-04-20} {6:32 p.m.}
People are emailing me and posting notes out the rear trying to figure out who the new mystery person is in my life. Heh Should I say her name ……?? Maybe, or maybe not. It all depends on how many people care. Nah. I’m just kidding.
Well, it’s …! I do love her …heaps.
Hey Pammie, I can’t explain the attraction I have to mystery girl. I just know it’s there. My heart beats a mile a minute when I think about her, and I smile. A lot. I once tried not to think about her that way, but as time progressed I knew it was her the whole time that I was drawn to. I don’t know how or why. I just know I did. My feelings for her came out of nowhere and just blew me away. At first I was floored by my own emotions for someone being so strong.
Today as I was lying on the sofa talking to Lois all I could think about was mystery girl, my sweet loving mystery person. I wondered how and what she was doing. Constant thoughts of her popping into my head, making me smile. Yes I was smiling. And, Lois was being so depressing. Talking to me about suicide. Grr. But it’s funny because I drowned out everything she was saying because I was thinking about mystery girl.. I was lying there with my eyes closed thinking mystery person mystery person mystery person. It’s all about how she loves me that makes me love her more. You have no idea the kind of conversations we have had. They blow Synthia away. And Syn was awesome to me. My love for Syn was huge beyond huge. But my feelings for “mystery girl” can’t even be explained. It’s just sooo…mysterious. I will try and explain it tho. Just because I love you and then maybe you will understand ok?
The first time I started talking to her I was like wow and she blew me away that very day. Her words so sweet making my heart ache for more. I wanted and needed to hear the things she was telling me, and it’s been that way ever since our very first conversation. I bet you didn’t know that she loved me even then did you? Did you know that I won her heart that very day a month or so ago? I did. But I didn’t think that much about it then. But when she shared an intimate secret with me the sparks went flying and my heart has been on fire ever since. Sensations of ambiance send me into another realm and I am alone in my thoughts. Singling out her and myself alone in an empty room with the lights dimmed low lying close to one another sharing only the thoughts we have shared together in our conversations. Holding one another and searing my thoughts in her mind as we do the wonderful things we have discussed and dreamed of. I want her here with me. It’s that serious. I can close my eyes and envision here with me sitting beside me as I write all of these amazing things about her, and I wish she could. I have never wanted anyone as badly as I do her. And who is this person that wreaks havoc on my emotions, driving me crazy with desire from with in? Well, you guessed it right the second time in our conversation. Go back and look.
I love someone soo much it makes me cry tears of sweet bitterness. I wish She was here…I wish I was there… I wish we were together. ::sighs:: Mystery girl where are you now? Please come back and tell me how much you love me. I want and need to hear it once again. I love you my lavender in bloom. Remember that entry? It’s for you mystery girl. I love you-