Don't speak. Let me in.

(Sugar is so so sweet-}
{2003-03-17} {3:16 a.m.}

It must be Monday......
This could be it,
I think I'm in love
It's love this time
It just seems to fit,
I think I'm in love
This love is mine

Today I realized that I loved someone more than I thought I could ever possibly imagine. We started out as friends, but it's a little stronger for me. One part of me is scared to death, yet the other part of me wants to embrace the new. I love the emotions this person gives me; making me feel "brand new" This person’s sugar to my soul is so so sweet yet it has a twinge of bitterness, because I am afraid to get hurt. I have named that one person "Dream."

Dream told me tonight that they loved me more than words could describe. And at that very moment my heart did big flip flop and totally took me off guard. It was painful at first, but it dwindled down to more of a passion instead of a scare. I can't tell Dream how I really feel, in fear of pushing them away. I love Dream with all the love my lost spirit and broken heart can muster up. Dream is the one person that truly understands me more than anyone I know. Yes, I know that I had feelings for Andrew once before, but that was soo long ago. And, I have heard nothing from his beautiful ass in 3 months. And, then while I was fighting my crazy emotions over him, I was hooked up with Jerry. Andrew was just ahhhhh so sweet and good to my heart. Jerry on the other hand was a user and I fell for him so hard and fast I didn't see it until later. But, unlike the other two my Dream "knows" me inside and out. With every inch of my soul, Dream is inside of me.

Dream is so close to my heart; that when I think of them a flame of delight seeps and travels into my veins. Awakening what was once cold and dead, to be touched from within. Wow, what a feeling this is. It’s irresistible, yet so beautiful all at the same time. Now I will get to go to sleep and be inside my dreams with the one person that knows me the most.
Dreams' passion is ever so sweet and takes a hold of me and just doesn't let go. I asked Dream if I got overly attached would they run away, and they said never. That it wasn’t their style. My heart did a complete 360 in 3 seconds flat, and I was like- [I am beautiful.]
(??)
The stunning feelings I have for Dream is not that of a little school girl crush, but something much greater. To be told that I am all Dream talks about was simply overwhelming. I didn’t know how to let this entire amazing news sink in at all once. And, once again I complained about our age difference, but my wonderful “dream” told me to be rest assured because it was nothing, and not a big difference.
Dream’s hugs are a sensation I don’t want to lose. The slightest touch of Dreams fingertips send a fire through me that scares me but...The feeling leaves me aware and wanting more. Dream truly completes me.
From the beginning of just being friends to where I am now confuses even me. Am I sure that I really want to go further into this tepid water? I’m afraid of stirring up an enormous tide of emotions that I will lose in the end. It’s just that this isn’t reality. We are so far apart. But, I am so drawn of wanting to be closer to Dream than ever before. It’s the only time I laugh and smile. I'm trying to hide my feelings but it’s getting to where I can’t contain it any longer. And the way Dream calls me; that’s all mine and makes me feel so extraordinary.
[I hate saying goodbye to Dream. I would rather stay there in their arms for eternity. Feeling that feeling of love and astonishment. It's a dream about to come to a close. Of either a sweet beautiful bliss, or cold-hearted sadness]
**Dream I can finally say "I love you"**
I gaze at a beautiful light and see us together, but somewhere off in the distance I see the reflection of a silhouette. Is it fate, or misery?
I can see the reflection of your warm embrace. And I feel like a jealous lover

I wish I were the sun shining on your face -
Caressing like a lover
I would wrap you up in a warm embrace -
We'd be holdin' one another

-Feeling Sensitive-

preventry nextentry