Don't speak. Let me in.

(Trickly Dickly-}
{2003-03-01} {9:41 a.m.}

Yay go me...
**laughing** I have to tell you about this dude i met last night he's soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Holy fuck o'christ! 48 god damn retirement!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He asked me if I wanted to be his new roomate and asked me if I could cook
Laughing at that one
I mean yeah I'm sure this is what he said to himself lemme go strike up a good cnvo w/ this chick over here
"hey cutie do you know how to cook???"
that's what he said to me and I was like ummm do I know you???
I was soooo falling over drunk

Here let me tell you this story about me n a one night stand
I was out at a bar, the norm
and I was like fucking molesting drunk that's really fucked up ...so along comes this guy
and hes a sweet guy and what not and I wanted to get laid
So, he's was like "Hey baby, you wanna get it on?" and I was like duh!
So then we take Lois' car cuz she hooked up with a one nighter too
so we go to his place and we get out of the car, walk around to the back side oif his apartment
and he opens this door that looks like a fucking barn door
and at this moment I was thinking "Oh shit I bet he's like Hannibal"
So we go inside his place and to confirm my suspicions it was just like I thought
FREAKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it gets better
So we're on his bed and doing the regular hanky panky and Im like ummm u better have a condom
and he was like sure I do
and I was like Sure??????? you dont keep em on your body and he was like no and I was like why? and he said just cuz girls aren't interested in me
and I said well I'm interested so fuck me lol
so hes tryin to be all nicey nicey and not go ape shit cuz I swear to god he must not have been laid in a century
so we're having sex and all that jazz and like wham as soon as he enetered he was out and I was fucking pissed!!
and then he gets up goes into the bathroom (gone for like fucking ever)
comes back out (I fell sleep)
and lays on the bed next to me and tells me to give him a massage and I was like what the fuck!?!!
So I was like errrmm okay (NOT)
and he falls asleep and I sneak out with keys and clothes
The worst sex story of my life I have now nick named the guy "Pencil Dick"
-Sexless-

preventry nextentry