Don't speak. Let me in.

(While you were out}
{2003-02-09} {12:17 p.m.}

"Then you listen to the music and you like to stay along You want to get the meaning out of each and every song Then you find yourself a message and some words To call your own and take them home"

All I can say about Paigeee is that she's having to deal with so much striff in her life. Everything's bringing her down. She's dealing with so many things, and she isn't helping herself by putting herself down.She is such a beautiful person. She has wonderful insight to things; things I didn't even know of. I wish that I could do more for her, but from where I'm at all I can do if offer her a kind word, and some enthusiasm to try and lift her spirits. She was doing so well not too long ago, and now her sadness has repossessed her inner self and has brought her back down to the land of darkness.Inside her soul I know she is alot stronger than what she feels. But, sometimes certain situtaions come along in your life and knocks your sails down...and, then there you are once again feeling like you're drowning in a dark empty lifeless pit. Amazing how fast it can bring you down. I know that Paige is a wonderful person,inside and out. And, I have just barely gotten to know her. She has been here for me alot, and has helped me undertsand alot of things that I couldn't before. I wish that I could do the same for her as she has done for me. But,I know that it's almost impossible. I am just merely a 'lil box on her AOL screen.. a person without a face that offers her a kind word here and there.
Inside her inner beauty has been locked away from all feeling of peacefulness. If there was a way that I could help her regain all of that I would do so in a heart beat. All I have ever been able to do is offer a kind word of encouragement; altho I feel sometimes that it doesn'thelp; only making things worse cuz she can't reclaim herself from within. I know how hard it is to hurt..and, I don't even want to compare. Her hurt, my hurt, your hurt, everyones'is the same. Hurt is hurt no matter what form it comes in.It comes to you when you least expect it and it just blows you away. It brings you down like sick feeling of old Nostalgia. It weakens you and makes you bleed.Sending us on a journey of feeling weak, and unworthiness.We become self immersed in our own heart ache and pain and just keep falling til we can find the way out.Eventually, ending up all alone in a dark, black cold environment where we don't want to be touched.
I was there in that place for a really long time. And, just like most people facing depression it took me twice as long to come back and start feeling my old self again. When I sit hee and think of the pain that Paigeee is going through it just makes my want to cry; wishing I could take all of that pain in her heart and rip it away; revealing the beauty that she has inside. But, I know that truly the only person that can do that is herself. I'm worried and scared... wondering what's going on in her mind, and how's she feeling. I could never want to see someone suffer as much as she is right now. The claws of evil have gripped her heart and are tearing it apart. Seperating all of the love and genuiness that's held with her soul. Breaking her down and letting her fall. If I could find a way to reach out and touch her I would. But, I can't and I feel useless from here at this point. All I can do is what I have always done... offer her a kind word when it's needed and be there for her as much as I possibly can. In her shadows I am there, walking beside her. She just doesn't see me ...
I know she's struggling with a lot of things in her life right now, but I KNOW with out a doubt that she can and will fight back; coming out on top the winner in the end. Paige you are beautiful, you are an exceptionally wonderful person... don't let this battle bring you down. Everyone loves you, and we are all here with you every step of the way. If there's not one shoulder to lean on, turn around and find the comfort in the other. We are everywhere you turn, you just have to open your eyes and see us. When ever you are lonely and scared and can't find your way, just turn around and your best friend will be there...Liz is there..I am there.. everyone is there..

Pains forsaken,seeking the lost
Darkness comes in many shapes and forms
In the blink of an eye
You will wake in the middle of a storm
Breaking you; feeling like you could just die

Within that storm you have a glow
Helping you lock away your fears
Awaking you to a world you never knew of
Bringing you to a better reverie

Allowing yourself to break free
You can find the comfort that you seek
Releasing your fears as the tears flow down your cheeks

Deep with the crevices of your soul
The love you once lost
Will come back and make you whole
Without that barren land to cross

Pains lost..
Embracing the new..
Bleeding like a red rose
Blooming into a brand new you

It's not the things we do that make us who we are, it's how we rise above after we have fallen
Paigeee we all love you!!
-Chrissi-

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