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(Missing Drew}
{2002-10-13} {9:36 p.m.}
Hey Sweetheart,
I really really miss you. I got to come home yesterday.I waited for you to sign on so I could surprise you. But you never showed. I know you're really busy with work, and all. Hows your job? I hope you're getting a lot of rest, like you need. I'm sorry you had to learn about my being in the hospital from the jerk. I felt bad. He came to my room asking about you, and I just told him you were a friend. But you and I know differently.(I hope)
I talked to Emma yesterday as well. She told me she talked to you and that you told her you wished you could come and be with me. I would have cried a million tears to see you and to be able to hold your hand, and hold your hand against my face. I don't know how to control my feelings for you, or even know if I should. I don't know how you feel about me and thats what scares me the most. Secretly inside I want to hear you feel the same for me, as I do you. But I know I can't make you love me. So I'm mixed up with all of these emotions running thru my mind and my heart everyday. Dreaming of being with you, and being in your arms. But I don't know if thats what you want. I do love you Drew. With all of my heart and soul. But when I write you, you dont send back. So then I don't know what to think. And, that's what scares me. Talking to Emma wasn't very eventful either. She told me she doesn't approve of us liking each other cuz I'm too old for you :( Do you feel that way too? Please be honest with me, cuz I can't lead myself on to believe in anything else. I believe the things you tell me and I hold onto to them with my life. Praying for our next moment together.Even if that moment is a month or 2 months away. Or even just a single hour chating with you online. I hold onto every moment with you.I want to be with you. Its like a burning fire inside of me dying to get out so I can touch you for that first time to feel that moment that will last me a lifetime. I love you and I need you. I can't make you tell me the things I want to hear. I can only pray that you feel the same way I do. Until I hear from you this will be my last email. I love you with all the emotion in my heart mind and soul.
Love you madly,
Chrissy Your Angel